O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
