just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
