Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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