people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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