you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
