I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
