No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
