You're a womanizer and a bitch.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
