what day is it and did you see me today?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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