There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
