Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
two words...techno handjob
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
