Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
