Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
