Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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