I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
