shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
