Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
