Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do vagina's smell?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
