i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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