I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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