i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
