did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
