How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
