some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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