absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
