I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
