I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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