somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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