Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dignity is for republicans.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
