i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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