Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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