What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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