Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
