My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
