she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
this is an emotional support booty call
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
