Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
