She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
