i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
