id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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