If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
