i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
