I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
