i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
and she was petting her beer can
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
