He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
