So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
