Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
