just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
