She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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