Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
