margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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